You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
