Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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