I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
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I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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