at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
i think im in europe. pls send help
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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