She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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