I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
