I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Randomize
