You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
