It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
