Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Less talking, more tequila
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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