Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
