We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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