It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
