She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
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