I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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