Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Do you have feelings for this penis?
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
