Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
You pole danced in your parka.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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