Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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