So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
