No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
