the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
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