Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
