She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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