Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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