period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
