I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Randomize
