my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
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