i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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