Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
