Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
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