I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
