this beer tastes like vomit already
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize