You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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