If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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