maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
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