My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
