Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
