This is not my ceiling
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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