I think scott just propositioned me for sex
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
