How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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