we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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