Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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