I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
