we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
