I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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