The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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