Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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