omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
