i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I want her autograph on my taint
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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