im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
