dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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