In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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