At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
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Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
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I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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