we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
