Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
