It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
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