I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
