yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Randomize