just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Randomize