So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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