She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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