we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
