Your face is a jimmy john
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Randomize
