What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
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