No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Shame - the story of my life.
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