how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
false alarm. still invincible.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
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